Member-only story
It’s Okay to Stay Estranged in a Global Pandemic
Of guilt trips, abuse, and worrying about my dad
When Coronavirus made it to the United States, I worried about my dad. He’s a lifelong smoker over 60. But I haven’t checked on him, because my sister and I haven’t spoken to him in over a year.
That time has been uneventful, besides us each getting a message from him on Thanksgiving. I thought leaving him on read would be a clear indicator that I was serious about not being in touch.
But it happened again.
Last night I received a message from him on my author Facebook page that simply stated “I hope you’re doing okay.”
These are uncertain times, when we’re all worried about survival and loved ones. But I had a decision to make.
Would I let my fear of a worst case scenario make me reach back out? Or would I maintain my no-contact rule?
If it was just reassurance that I’m okay, I would give it to him.
I would tell him I’m okay. I would tell him I’m happy. I would tell him I’m in love. I would tell him I hope he’s okay too.
But I can’t, because it’s not just reassurance that I’m okay, it’s giving him a response just because he wants me to.
