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What Jealousy Taught Me About Authenticity
Jealousy is a normal human experience, so I don’t like to demonize it and say that people should aspire to never feel it. Jealousy is about fear of losing something, and if you sit with your jealousy with intentional space to let it talk to you and tell you what you’re scared of, it can be a useful tool to work on the thoughts holding you back.
In my recent experience, I was feeling a high school level case of “why are you flirting with the people I like” jealousy.
The facts: I’m polyamorous and a relationship anarchist, I don’t have a claim on any person, and everyone around me is free to have whatever relationships they like.
So what was I jealous of?
Explore the fear
I talk to myself a lot. I write out my thoughts or speak to myself in a voice recording app so I can go back and read or listen when I’m not as amped up about the issue at hand.
A few days ago, I asked myself what was bothering me so much about this situation. I went from fine with this person to jealous about their behavior, so what happened? I had to talk it out to find the pearl of truth buried within.
I realized that I felt like I had to perform at their level of magnetism and flirtatiousness to keep people’s attention.
